【海外の反応】彼女が偏食すぎて旅行に連れていきたくない男、海外で大論争に

If it's that bad, are you sure you're compatible?

You sound incompatible.

NTA but do you want the rest of your life to be like this?

Also need to say that this sentence is really sad and not okay:

“We have an agreement that I can go out and eat at a restaurant alone once a month.”

This isn’t something that should need an “agreement”. You can eat alone at a restaurant any time you choose.

I have a brother who is also a picky eater, and I freely admit I don't understand the condition. Food is one of the great pleasures of my life. Few things make me happier than the prospect of trying new eating places and dishes I've never had before. Sometimes I wonder how we grew up in the same family.

That said, your girlfriend's picky eating isn't the issue here, any more than my brother's picky eating is an issue for me (or any of us) when we go out for a family dinner. Because it isn't.

Rather, the issue with you and your girlfriend is the somewhat puzzling dynamic that's going on between you two.

Let's break down the language you've used to describe your situation:

*honestly eating in general is a challenge.*

A challenge for whom? For you? You're not the picky eater, so why is it a challenge for you?

*Right now we have an agreement that I can go out and eat at a restaurant alone once a month alone*

So you felt obliged to agree to the terms of this arrangement she has imposed upon you, even though you want more out of life? Why would you agree to her controlling you like this?

*bc I just need the ability to eat whatever I want without consequence.*

WHAT consequence?

You DO have the ability to eat whatever you want. You've always had it. Start exercising it.

*But for her – she cant even pick lettuce/tomato/onion off her hamburger. It needs to be a patty with cheese only. She cant eat street tacos, just tacos from Taco Bell.*

So why is that your problem? She's a grown-up. She can solve her own problem. She can either find something on the menu she likes, OR she can load up beforehand and sit and make conversation while you eat, OR she can eat afterwards, OR – if she really hates the idea of sitting and watching you eat – she can stay home. I genuinely don't understand why you have become so invested in HER problem.

*Im real concerned about traveling and Ive received the chance to travel more*

Congratulations! Go travel. Enjoy it.

*and I just want to be able to eat without overthinking everything.*

You CAN. You don't have to overthink anything. You just say "Girlfriend, here's where I plan to eat tonight. You can join me if you want, or you can find somewhere more to your liking and we'll meet back here afterwards."

*Each day, when I order food..it becomes about whether or not she can eat anything off the menu and I find* ***I cant even take her*** *to restaurants without a children's menu. Ive learned that restaurants with a children's menu will have at least something she can eat.*

You don't have to TAKE her anywhere. You're not her parent. I repeat, she's a grown-up, not a toddler you have to escort around. If she can't find anything she likes at the place you want to eat, that's HER problem to solve, not yours.

*I feel like a huge asshole but I can't do this anymore.*

You should never have been doing this in the first place.

*I just want to be able to pick for myself* ***without meltdowns.***

Aha! Finally we have it! "Meltdowns". Is that the consequence you hinted at earlier?

Is she making you feel like YOU are responsible for satisfying her pickiness, and does she have a meltdown when you can't?

If so, THAT'S the real issue here. Not her pickiness per se, but the fact that she is taking what should be entirely her problem to solve and making it YOUR problem. (Unlike my brother, who has never turned his pickiness into anyone else's problem, not even his wife's.)

Your girlfriend should not be doing that. And it means the issue you have is much greater than where and how often you eat out and whether you go traveling with her.

If you want to stay with this woman, you would both benefit from counseling.

NTA.

I couldn't deal with this level of pickiness. She's 36. It's not going to get better unless she gets significant therapy.

You're NTA for not wanting to travel with her. But if she doesn't even want you going out to eat without her, I can't imagine she's going to be happy about your choice. Just end things.

INFO: What do you mean by "meltdowns"? What is her reaction to you eating what you want?

I don’t think you two are compatible

Why can you only eat what you want alone once a month? Why can’t you go out with friends? Is this a deal breaker for you or is this something you can live with for the next 30 years because this isn’t going to change.